As I write this I have just made the decision not to apply for an Events Manager role at a local venue. I am quite possibly mad. Or brave. Or stupid. Or right. 
As you may know running my own company wasn’t ever a dream. I was a happily employed person and until the pandemic hit had assumed it would always be that way. Ever since I started out as an intern back in 2009 I have worked hard, learning new skills and then either been promoted or moved company for a role higher in the hierarchy. 
Then 2020 happened. 

Furlough, Redundancy, Change 

Redundancy itself would have been a hard enough thing to face but then add in an industry floored by Covid with little to no possibility of there being a job to hunt for and life took a very unexpected turn. 
There are so many elements of being my own boss that I am loving – flexible working, how budget friendly I can be for clients, being creative, networking for myself and my own values, the crazy variety a working week brings. 
But there are a lot of things I’m not such a fan of. Things such as marketing. Social media is a job in itself but when you’re only earning enough to pay yourself you have to be responsible for it and squeeze it among the client proposals and quotes and networking and sales calls. Finance is another beast that I don’t always know how to conquer and who knew the admin with invoicing can be so time consuming! 
I have made the decision to work with an accountant so have now added the worry of earning enough to pay their monthly charge – take away one pain, gain another, it would seem. But then I think of that time I spend stressing over tax and invoices and think how many sales calls I could make in that free time…. 
In my first post I talked about planting a seed of the idea of Beckie Giles and then today I read this quote: 
You wouldn’t plant a seed and then dig it up every few minutes to see if it has grown. So why do you keep questioning yourself, your hard work and your decisions? Have patience, stop overthinking and keep watering your seeds. 
-Steven Bartlett 
So, I am trusting my gut and I know I AM right in not applying for that job. I want to do this and I want to do it well so it deserves my whole heart and all the time and energy I can muster. I am leaving the seed buried and going to make sure I keep on watering so I can rejoice in watching it bloom. 
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